(in)coherent observations at 36,000 feet

british airways is a remarkable airline. movie choices and fuzzy blankets are the least of it. on my way to london, the flight attendants kicked off the journey by wandering the cabin handing out plastic zipper baggies of crayons and coloring books and other funs to any children on board. i had never seen that before. i tried to sink down in my seat in an attempt to get one for myself. but at some point i turned 23 and that's a hard truth to hide. so i flew on without any coloring books but with a hefty amount of bendryll.

entrance into the developed world was an experience to say the least. i didn't know what to absorb first. the white lighting, the shiny floors, the ever-flushing toilets with ever-stocked toilet paper. i couldn't decide so instead i absorbed nothing and stared at the snow out the airport window. but i will note one aspect of western society that i couldn't help but inhale. men's cologne. cologne is worse than rare in parts of the world that have more important things to worry about than under arm smell. but cologne is a wondrous thing that i love to smell and found myself leaning in awkwardly close to the men i stood in line with.

and standing in line served as an interesting cross-section of what's been happening while i've been away. groups of classmates on skying trips. men in well fitting blazers and stylish shoes. women wrapped in silk scarves and chanel bracelets to cover up that they ought to be married by now. and while all of europe it seems has decided to keep tucking their pants into their boots, the entirety of western civilization has decided to start coloring their hair. not even blonde or wild unnatural colors. just any color not their own. i swear i didn't see a single head of hair its natural color until i landed in seattle where hair dye is harmful to the environment and therefore not allowed upon penalty of being declared unworthy to live on the west coast. (fact: on my flight into boston i asked for coffee several times and kept reusing the same styrofoam cup. the flight attendant asked me if i was from california... i told him i was currently living in east africa, at which point i was given free wine for the rest of the flight. fantastic and yet unfortunate considering i had been attempting a rigorous sleep/no-sleep schedule in order to be on seattle time before i got there. instead i toppled over into the empty seat next to me and slept soundly until we were on top of the boston airport and i was being woken up to stow my tray table.)

and being in boston was lovely. the accents. the swearing. the locals opting for function over fashion. i nearly froze to death in the oh-so lovely airport where i spent a long and fitful night trying to sleep on a baggage trolly cart with a cup of duncan doughnuts coffee and my ipod. by the time 6am rolled around i was like an a.d.d child. i had waited long enough to get to washington state. i sat down on that airplane between two delightful ladies from dallas and we talked and talked and told stories and shared pictures and cell phones and pointed at the mountains out the windows and on a saturday afternoon i finally saw seattle for the first time. and aside from the biting cold, it was a wonderful welcome.

i went for a walk on wednesday while my gracious and gorgeous hostess was in class. i found a travel bookstore and i found a public library. and i found that in u.s. cities, particularly those concerned with fuel emissions, pedestrians are treated with the highest respect. sidewalks are kept clean and crosswalks are honoured and eyed with caution. a hundred feet from the crosswalk and on-coming cars are screeching to a halt for anyone on two feet. after living in a place where walking through town is taking your life in your hands, i learned to love the attention. i strolled around, head held high, crossing busy streets chewing my bubble gum. coming upon a host of trash cans i confidently took out the gum and dropped it in the nearest bin. at which point i realized i had used the recycle bin. i literally gasped out loud and ran for the nearest doorway for fear of being bum rushed by enraged seattlites. not surprisingly, i found myself in a coffee shop. i took off my coat and drank a hot chocolate and tried to act natural.

thursday i had an interview. the interview. the all-day-long teach for america interview hosted by ex-elementary school teachers who talked with so much enthusiasm and fervor that i found them hard to match! every time i spoke my pitch got higher and my eyes got wider until i swear we were SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER!! but it was fun to give a mock lesson and meet new people and eat a subway sandwich. yums. and now i have a few weeks to wait until i find out. miss carter anyone? i guess we'll see. it's weird to have this semester winding down already. job interviews and apartment searches. life just keeps rolling along doesn't it. airplanes and temporary beds and more airplanes. time stops for no one i guess. at least that's what they say.

flying back was an experience as well. the jfk airport was hosting a movie set. no exciting story there. i didn't see anyone of particular interest. just the holding room for the extras and i wondered for a second if i could get away with joining them. i know a thing or two about a craft service table.

beyond that is mostly dreams and delirium. i used to envy people in airports. on the rare occasion that i wasn't the one flying, i would covet the plane tickets and carry on baggage that wasn't my own. i wanted to be moving. i wanted to be going somewhere. but this time, this last bout of international travel, i didn't feel this at all. i didn't feel much really. but this time i watched outside the waiting lines. the security personnel. gate attendants. men and women who woke up to their alarms and shared their breakfast and locked their front door on the way to work. the front door that they'll be back to by 5. i coveted their groceries and their electricity bills. and then i got on another plane and flew to another airport and slept on another bench of plastic chairs.

and landing in brussels was maybe the most disturbing bit of the whole trip. i've walked into a few airports in my day. crowds of people and busy janitors and bustling food courts. music on the intercom and colored light beaming from store fronts. but not in brussels. in my sad and sleepy state i walked down the frosted jet bridge in the wake of my own white breath, waiting for the comfort of close bodies and coffee shops. instead i walked off into a void. a beige tiled void. colossal vaulted ceilings, off white walls and hallways with the breadth of the titanic. and no noise. no music. absolutely no pictures on the walls except for the occasional black and white shot of david beckham in his underpants. we all walked in silence, fanning out into a wide spread smattering with plenty of room to spare in the vast space. the place was almost entirely lit with natural light from windows and sky lights. and it stayed as silent as a shoe box. until the intermittent pa announcement would run. once in english, next in french, and last in german. and then a hush. the whole thing was weirdly disconcerting and when i fell asleep at my gate and woke again in line to board i convinced myself i had dreamt up the wonderland in my state of fatigue.

and now i'm back. back in this place that feels so familiar to me. i'm legally a resident now. a ugandan working resident. when i got off the plane and passed all the sorry suckers who had to buy visas and walked through the 'returning residents' line at customs, i'm sure i was glowing. what a feeling! unfortunately that feeling has quickly turned into a feeling of exhaustion. i'm not sleepy, per say. considering i slept quite literally all day. but i am tired. so i'll go now. pop a few benedryll and try to sleep through the night. on to more days. more time that doesn't stop or even slow. on and on and on. and i'll just have to see what comes next. that's all we can do. try. and try our best.

xoxo